The Ice Inside Your Soul
by george's firework
Summary: If he hadn't loved her, he would never have been hurt by her. But he did, and so he was. Blaise Z./Cho C.


**This fic is in answer to Lily's (KeepDreamingLily) MASSIVE Challenge over at Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges :)**

**Massive thanks to MusicRises (Jordan) for doing such a wonderful job at being my Beta Love that girl **

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><p>Do you remember when you were a little girl, and all you dreamed about was the perfect wedding?<p>

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><p>Every once in a while, a girl is born. Not just a normal girl, though, a girl who has the power to twist any single person around her finger, the power to make boys fall at her feet with a glance, and a power to make every single girl their age jealous of everything about them. These girls get everything they want and, they're all beautiful in one way or another. It's usually a pretty even divide between the ones who are beautiful in appearance, and the ones who are beautiful emotionally and intellectually.<p>

But occasionally, just occasionally, a girl will pop up who is beautiful in both ways.

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><p>And you spent your entire playtime with a pillowcase on your head?<p>

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><p>Blaise Zabini had found that Cho Chang was one of these girls. He watched her daily, from his little corner of the library as she did her homework and such. He often wished he had the chance to talk to her, but he knew that even if the chance did pop up, he'd never take it. He'd heard Cho wasn't a big fan of Slytherins after a group of them had teased Marietta about her pimples. Also, they way they had bragged about how they had taken a large part in the downfall of the DA wouldn't have made anything better. It definitely wouldn't help his case that he had been a member of the Inquisitorial Squad. His past with her wouldn't help at all either.<p>

Still, he watched her quietly. It disgusted him how she intrigued him, with her long silky black hair and dark eyes and porcelain skin dusted with freckles. Before, she had amazed him.

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><p>Well, I was like that until two years ago.<p>

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><p>Blaise had been watching her for a long time and had watched how she matured. Before Cedric's death, she was bubbly and vivacious and constantly surrounded by an absolutely massive group of friends. After the Tournament, her personality seemed to turn around completely as she became quiet and reserved. The night after the memorial, Blaise had followed her to the library and watched her run into the restricted section, unhindered as Madame Pince was still in the Great Hall. At the sound of her loud, uncontrolled sobs he had gone in after her and finally found her curled up on the floor in the last aisle, knees clutched to her chest. She hadn't even looked up as he sat on the cold floor beside her.<p>

"I-I-it's n-not... fair!" This was the sole phrase she had wailed before she rested her head on his shoulder and wept for a long time. It had gone dark by the time she eventually quietened down, her howls of anguish reduced to sniffles as she gazed at him, hiccupping slightly.

"You've been watching me," she stated. He answered her with a simple nod, though it wasn't a question. "Why?" There was a long moment of silence, broken occasionally by Cho's hiccups, before Blaise answered her.

"You... intrigue me," Blaise murmured in a way that suggested he wasn't too sure of his answer. "Ever since I first saw you play Quidditch... you have something about you which... fascinates me." He could barely disguise the disgust which seeped into his voice. "Don't ask "why me?" because I wouldn't be able to give you an answer. You're everything I dislike in a girl: surrounded by hordes of people, smarter than me, a better Quidditch player than me, innocent, and, most of all, you're too _good. _I should be completely disgusted by you, and yet here I am, telling you that all of the things I should hate you for are actually things that make you appeal to me even more. It drives me insane."

Cho stared at him, a little beyond shocked. Very few people had ever told her reasons for not liking her before and absolutely _nobody _had told her reasons as to why they s_hould d_islike her, and then turned around and said that actually, well, they do like her for those reasons, though they shouldn't. She was terribly confused.

The two of them sat there for what seemed like a very, very long time and didn't exchange a single word. Their gazes were locked, both barely blinking, and they were both breathing quite loudly. IT was now very dark inside the library, and Blaise could only see Cho due to a small strip of moonlight shining through the window closest to them. Finally, Blaise sighed and turned his head to the side, breaking their staring match.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that," he muttered. Cho was still staring at him, not really believing that a Slytherin had both admitted his feelings, and then apologised about it.

Blaise wasn't entirely sure what possessed him to do it. Perhaps it was the way she was staring at him in complete disbelief. Perhaps it was the way the moonlight was shining on her hair and making the tear tracks glitter on her pale skin. Perhaps it was because he had been longing to do it for so, so long.

Cho didn't react at first, she was so taken aback that she didn't realise what exactly was going on for a few moments. Then, her primary reaction of shock seemed to melt away and she started returning the kiss, lost in a painless oblivion. Blaise felt his stomach flip as he continued to kiss her gently. Who would have ever thought that he, Blaise Zabini, quiet and haughty Slytherin, would be kissing Cho Chang, Ravenclaw's sweetheart?

Blaise moved his hand up her arm and tangled it in the silky hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Apparently it had been the wrong thing to do as Cho stiffened, whimpered slightly and pulled away, shutting her eyes against the tears he could see brimming in her eyes. One slipped out from under her lashes and fell to the floor between them.

"Who do you think you are?" She whispered without opening her eyes, her voice wobbling slightly. "To go telling me reasons why you should dislike me, then kissing me? Right after C-Cedric's memorial too."

She had left him then, pushing herself off the wooden floor and flouncing away, something which would have been more intimidating had she not been crying as she walked away. Blaise's pride had been greatly wounded then, yet he still watched her. He knew that she was aware of him watching but they hadn't spoken a single word to each other since that incident. Blaise realised that she was like poison as he watched her play with Potter, like he was a toy.

Sitting in the library watching her made Blaise realise a great many things. His thoughts were great torments.

_Who do I think _I a_m? Who does she think s_he _is? I was right, she's exactly like poison. It doesn't seem like you're injured, but you are and slowly it works inside you, corrupting your vital organs and slowly tearing you apart. Well she's already left many a scar on my pride and my heart, a few more won't be much. Am I really feeling sorry for Potter? I know what it's like to be led on; at least she didn't take much, if any, interest in me at all. Wonder who her next victim will be when she leaves Potter for the vultures? Is it masochistic of me to hope that... that it will be me?_

Cho left the library long before Blaise did that night and as he watched her go, there was only one thought left in his mind. A thought that would haunt him for the rest of his school life.

_Perhaps time will cure me of her poison._


End file.
